Sadness
Have I mentioned I hate sleep? I do, I hate sleeping. I hate sleeping alone, I hate crying in my pillow every damn night. I hate feeling numb at 3 in the morning.
I hate my bedroom. It doesn’t help that I’m more useless lately about chores, you’d think one could at least fold laundry, but I find it more then I can deal with. Half my bed is covered in crap I can’t find the energy to put away. All I do is spend my time either crying, dealing with the kids, or escaping to my favorite chat room. I’m not even playing TSO right now. Watching a bunch of people being all sweet and romantic just doesn’t work for me right now. I’m trying to read but when I stop I couldn’t tell you what I was just reading.
I feel so numb at night it hurts. I feel used, betrayed, rejected, hated, rediculed, abused, neglected, and incredible sadness. I can be strong during the day, but these nights without anything resembling reasonable sleep is starting to get to me.
I simply can’t function.
I hate the night time.
August 13th, 2003 at 9:57 am
your email bounced email me!
August 13th, 2003 at 3:40 pm
I wish I could say something conforting. Maybe instead of focusing energy on being sad night you can focus it on YOU time. Like, focusing on getting your room clean and then making it your hide-out where it’s your domain. Or focus on things like art, writing, etc… If someone had the patent on heartache avoidance pills and no tears forever bandaids they’d be rich. *hugs* Stay in there!
August 13th, 2003 at 3:43 pm
Thank you Celina, I know I need to get my mind on other things, that’s why I can’t wait for school to start. I’m counting on my classes to help keep my mind busy.