Ugh, I have been so distracted the last few days. I have been neglecting my website for better distractions. Yes, I know, it’s sacraligious to have a real life, but I promise it’s just a chat life.

I’ve been staying up till 2am almost every morning this last week. That’s 5am est, which is where my bud Frock is. Philadelphia, Pa. to be almost exact. It’s felt like a dream this week, to be sure, he’s 3000 miles away but I enjoy talking to him so much that the time flies until we are literally dropping out of our chairs.

To show how bad my crush is, I think in two time zones. (chuckle) And I wait in nervous excitement until he gets on his computer and we can talk. I feel like I’m some stupid 16 year old, somedays.

Around my time with Frock, other things have been happening. I Dj’d a wedding this weekend next to the river, and got a lovely bug bite on my neck which is large and painful. We had one guest who turned out to be the sister of Erin Brockovich, very nice lady. I ran into a friend who is having to consider divorcing his wife, all they seem to do anymore is fight. He’s very unhappy because he doesn’t want to lose her kids. We took the kids to counseling and discovered that Erica is pretending Alex is Daddy so she can get her pain out without hurting Daddy’s feelings. So Alex gets to feel bad instead, and when asked why she was doing this, she knew exactly what she was doing. None of this “well I’m just mad all the time” stuff. She knew she was pretending Alex was Dad. I just shook my head and wondered how in the world I got such a smart daughter, that she would know when she was transfering pain to another. So we’ll be dealing with that bit of info.

Church went fine and had a good time at choir. The PTA stuff is turning into a real interesting mess. A mess I sort of saw coming last year, but wasn’t in a position to do anything about, so well see if I can get off of chat long enough to set things right. (sarcasm)

As you may be able to tell by my crush, I have finally let go of Karel. The emotional attachment I had for him is no longer more then just a friend who is the father of my children. I’m glad I’ve reached this point. This will hopefully allow us to go our seperate ways without alot of emotional hangups. He can do what he needs to do and so can I without it hurting each other.

A big step that happened about two weeks ago, but it also happened about the same time as my realization of how I felt for Frock. And that came as a complete surprise, so did his admission of feeling strongly for me as well. So now I have this really awesome friend who loves me too. I have no clue where it’s going, but I do know that with the support he’s given me so far, I have no worries about being messed up worse then I already am.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 15th, 2003 at 2:56 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.