Wednesday
The past few days have been very busy. My daughter’s school had their “Run for the Arts” run/walk today. The kids are basically raising money for the arts program in their school. Grout Elementary is able to provide Drama, Music, and Art. For example…both classes in my daughter’s grade worked with a music teacher to write and record two songs. Each kid got a cd to bring home. All of it was thanks to “Run for the Arts” money.
Today was the run/walk. Our PTA provides water and oranges for the kids to refresh themselves afterwards. Pouring water for three hundred kids is a neat trick. For some reason, we don’t have alot of parent involvment this year. Some years are just better then others. So, this morning found me running a friend’s kid to school, running to get coolers filled with water, pouring 300 glasses of water and cleaning up a bunch of orange peels and cups afterwards. It went very smoothly, but tired me out. I did drag a couple of parents who were there to watch in to help me…thank goodness.
After that, I watched two little kids for another friend of mine. The one year old is sick…cried for three hours out of the five he was with me. I kid you not. The poor baby was so unhappy. Although, he’s not really used to me yet, unlike his sister who loves me, so half of his cries were protest “I don’t like being left here” cries. Fortunately for me, crying doesn’t bother me.
I was supposed to go to Harvey’s comedy club tonight after my friend picked up her kids. But Greyduck wasn’t feeling well so needed to cut his visit short and the kids did leave me with a pounding headache, so I wasn’t really up to going by myself to a comedy club.
And I have been in a state of meloncholy these last couple of days. Sure enough, I mention things going well with Dead Marlowe and he decides we need to pull back to being friends. I agree with his reasons, but he was going to cut me off totally. I talked him out of that. He’s my best friend, losing all contact with him would be like cutting my heart out…again. Plus, he had worries going on thinking he was using me in some fashion, and that wasn’t okay. I abused him of that notion first thing. I also pointed out to him that any difficulties in our relationship, mostly that damn ocean, could be solved if we decided that’s what we wanted. BUT…I pointed out to him, if he cut me off totally, we’d never know if that IS what we want. There is also the added pain involved with wanting to see someone, be with them, and can’t because it costs a thousand dollars to do so.
Sometimes, loving each other hurts because of that. However, he makes me feel connected, alive, and a part of something important. When he was talking to me, instead of dictating how things would be, like frock did, after he was done, and I was quiet and waiting, he said, “Talk to me, tell me what your thinking.” And then he listened to how I felt about it, what my view was, and then, like partners and friends do, we discussed what we both wanted and needed and how to deal with our situation. I LOVED that. The upshot of the matter is that we have decided to keep our bible study going. We set aside a few hours each sunday that cannot be interrupted. That way, we still get contact with each other. And he gets the time he needs to take care of the things he feels he needs to take care of. I miss him alot. I’ve had nearly daily contact with him for five months…it will be hard to get used to, but in the end, worth it. I love him too much to throw him away.
On a good note. I finally got my audition scheduled for the music therapy program at Marylhurst University. It’s their entrance exam, so to speak. Lets them know where I am musically. You have to have three “instruments” to study..My main one is voice, and then I’ll be learing piano..which I know a little of, and guitar. I’ll be trained in all three. I’ll also get trained as a clinical therapist. So at the end of my schooling, I’ll have my various degrees, be trained as a musician and as a clinical therapist. I like this.
