UGH!!! The night before hell decends. It’s going to be a great weekend. But I’m terrified of the driving I have to do on saturday.

I’ve been fighting exhaustion probably caused by dehydration all week. I don’t think I’m physically ready for this weekend. But I don’t really have a choice either.

I wish I had someone I could lean on to support me this weekend. But I don’t. I have to do this all on my own and I feel like crying. I have my kids but they can only do what kids to best. They are not a partner.

I don’t know what I hate more…being alone, or wishing for someone who doesn’t want to be around me.

I haven’t heard from the one person I needed to hear from this week at all. He knew it was my birthday because I called him up and reminded him. Not a word. Not a flipping word. I can’t be a friend to someone who makes me feel like I’m imposing on him. He asked me to let him go but to keep in contact. But I haven’t heard from him but once in nearly six weeks. And a “I love you” doesn’t mean much if you never hear from them. He could be busy, I do know that his schedule is a nightmare right now. But a happy birthday email doesn’t take more then a couple minutes right?

Ugh…grr…growl..gnash…smash…cry….

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 15th, 2004 at 10:27 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.