Comments on: Wistful http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/journal/309 Just another WordPress weblog Thu, 20 Nov 2008 17:48:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.3 By: bridget http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/journal/309#comment-247 bridget Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/?p=309#comment-247 It sounds like you need a confidante/support system - and I don't think that necessarily needs to be a man. Are there people or a group that you can turn to in your church for support? <br> <br>I'm just worried that you will end up turning to the first guy who shows you interest just because you need someone to confide in. I think you were wise to have your dating moratorium while you sort things out in your life. It is scary sometimes being alone and only having yourself to depend on - but I think if you expand your circle past just a romantic relationship to friends, you'll find a lot of people who are ready, willing and able to support you. It sounds like you need a confidante/support system - and I don’t think that necessarily needs to be a man. Are there people or a group that you can turn to in your church for support?

I’m just worried that you will end up turning to the first guy who shows you interest just because you need someone to confide in. I think you were wise to have your dating moratorium while you sort things out in your life. It is scary sometimes being alone and only having yourself to depend on - but I think if you expand your circle past just a romantic relationship to friends, you’ll find a lot of people who are ready, willing and able to support you.

]]> By: Wendi http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/journal/309#comment-248 Wendi Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/?p=309#comment-248 I do have a good group of friends who keep an eye out for me. And I'm too cynical to just jump into any guys arms who doesn't meet a very stiff set of requirements. I did that with Frock and learned some valuable lessons. I don't have myself isolated like I did when I was married. However, that doesn't invalidate that fact that I want a guy in my life. I see a man and woman as two parts to a whole piece. And I want that partnership. I'm willing to be alone if I have to be, but I am at least honest enough with myself to recognize that I want a man in my life. A good one, not just one who comes along. That's why I said I feel sorry for the guy who decides he wants me....he has to earn me, even DM had to earn me...which he hadn't done before he stepped away. I will not settle this time around...there is too much to lose if I screw up in my choice of my next partner. I do have a good group of friends who keep an eye out for me. And I’m too cynical to just jump into any guys arms who doesn’t meet a very stiff set of requirements. I did that with Frock and learned some valuable lessons. I don’t have myself isolated like I did when I was married. However, that doesn’t invalidate that fact that I want a guy in my life. I see a man and woman as two parts to a whole piece. And I want that partnership. I’m willing to be alone if I have to be, but I am at least honest enough with myself to recognize that I want a man in my life. A good one, not just one who comes along. That’s why I said I feel sorry for the guy who decides he wants me….he has to earn me, even DM had to earn me…which he hadn’t done before he stepped away. I will not settle this time around…there is too much to lose if I screw up in my choice of my next partner.

]]> By: BtFR http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/journal/309#comment-249 BtFR Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/?p=309#comment-249 Bridget, <br>Speaking as one of Wendi's friends, and a male who has even been out on a couple "dates" with her, I think I can defend her assertions that she wants a man in her life but he had better be the right one. <br>What I also may need to remember to point out to Wendi either here or in person, is that she a.) is a much stronger and more independant woman that even she may realize, and b.) that realizing this, she should possibly open up a little more and just trust her instincts. From my impression, what Wendi knows best, is that Wendi will know when it is right. Now all she has to do is trust her and not worry about what might be earned. I know I trust her judgement. Bridget,

Speaking as one of Wendi’s friends, and a male who has even been out on a couple “dates” with her, I think I can defend her assertions that she wants a man in her life but he had better be the right one.

What I also may need to remember to point out to Wendi either here or in person, is that she a.) is a much stronger and more independant woman that even she may realize, and b.) that realizing this, she should possibly open up a little more and just trust her instincts. From my impression, what Wendi knows best, is that Wendi will know when it is right. Now all she has to do is trust her and not worry about what might be earned. I know I trust her judgement.

]]> By: Wendi http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/journal/309#comment-250 Wendi Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/?p=309#comment-250 wow....thanks for the confidence in me. Hugs. wow….thanks for the confidence in me. Hugs.

]]> By: Lilith http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/journal/309#comment-251 Lilith Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000 http://ballandchain.greyduck.net/?p=309#comment-251 The difference between "needing" in a bad way (which is co-dependence) and "needing" in a good way (which is inter-dependence) is whether it's a positive force in both your lives. There is nothing wrong with having someone else be strong for you, as long as you know you *can* be strong for yourself when it's necessary. I do wish you all the best in your search. The difference between “needing” in a bad way (which is co-dependence) and “needing” in a good way (which is inter-dependence) is whether it’s a positive force in both your lives. There is nothing wrong with having someone else be strong for you, as long as you know you *can* be strong for yourself when it’s necessary. I do wish you all the best in your search.

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