It’s either going to be a good vacation or it’s going to be a walking nightmare. I’m not sure which.

We are going to Utah for BG’s family reunion tomorrow. Origionally it was going to be a trip for BG and I to work things out for or against us. Now, it’s just a trip to introduce Tadpole to the family.

One thing still puzzles me though, BG had to inform EVERYONE who was going to be involved that we were coming. His parents made him ask permission of his brothers and their wives in order for us to come. They made him jump through some serious hoops for us to go and I’m still trying to figure out why he did it. He doesn’t want to work things out with me and never had any intention of doing so, so why take us?

I guess I’ll find out soon enough. For myself, there is a sense of relief about all this. While I was heartbroken at first that I was essentially rejected, I’m not really surprised and all things considered, I now don’t have to settle. While he had many of the good things I was looking for, he demonstrated an immaturity that was disappointing. And while I can appreciate his desire to have someone who takes care of their stuff, which I sometimes don’t, He is very preoccupied with looks and appearances. He and I never saw eye to eye that someone can look good and have great stuff and be empty on the inside. I was teased by the “A Crowd” all throughout school, so I learned this lesson firsthand. He still has yet to learn it.

Oh well. I plan on having fun the next two weeks. They have a lot of things planned and while I can’t do everything because of Tadpole, there will be enough to do. A and E should have a ball. And since I’m not there to impress anyone or gain anyones affections I can just show off my adorable children. I expect to be asked lots of questions and I’m promising myself that no matter what I hear or am asked, I won’t be offended by it. This is not an easy situation and I can’t really blame anyone for what they may think about me. After all they don’t know me.

On an upbeat note: I’ve lost ALL my baby weight. WOOHOO!!!! My hips have lost four inches and I can fit into my old jeans, but it’s tight. I need to lose the next two inches to make them feel comfortable again. I’ve also cut my hair so the perm is finally gone and I have my soft straight hair again. My hair is a medium brown now. It has been a long time since I’ve just let my hair be it’s natural color. When I started dyeing my hair it was a dirty dishwater blond, it’s now medium brown. With my brown eyes I look all one color. We’ll see how long I can stand looking like wallpaper. Heh!

Tadpole is now seven weeks old and as far as I can tell pulling 12lbs and 24 inches in length. He’s finally got rolls of chub everywhere and really looks like A’s baby pictures. I also have a picture of one of my nieces at about 4 months or so and she and Tad could pass for siblings. So while he started off looking just like his dad, he really is looking like the bailey side of the family now. When I get back from vacation, I’ll have to make some time to get my gallery in order so I can show off the kids.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 26th, 2005 at 8:58 am and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.