Weekend Wrapup
Friday was a hectic day, I was nervous about my GED placement, because if I ended up on a waiting list it would screw up my plans to start school in the Fall, which is a MUST! However there wasn’t going to be anything I could do about it until next Thursday when I go in to finish testing and find out if I have a class or on a waiting list. Then the wonderful lady who was running the testing process calls me up to let me know that my initial scores are good enough to be put in the one class that didn’t have a waiting list on it and she just wanted to let me know that she had already reserved me a seat in that class. I have been ecstatic for the last three days, of course now I have to find a morning babysitter twice a week to watch the kids I babysit. UGH! I will have to tell parents that I can’t watch their kids once I know what days I will be gone in the mornings. It’s been amazing to see how many blessings have been showing up as I take these first steps towards independance. (Thank you, Thank you, Thank you)
Friday evening saw me working down in St. Paul, Oregon. I had an event where I just played background music, mostly country, and karaoke. It was very successful and fun was had by all. They had a local group of tap dancers come perform for them. They call themselves cloggers, which is basically tap dancing by cues. It looked like alot of fun and if I lived down there or in Salem I would probably try it. An old friend from high school was part of the group and it was fun getting to say hi to her.
Saturday saw us visiting with Karel’s family as his sister Christine and her husband John came for a visit from Virginia. They are both in the Navy as techs for the nuclear reactors on the ships, she works on a Carrier, he a submarine. They look like their doing good and you can hit Greyducks Gallery to see the pictures taken. Kids had fun swimming and goofing off, and the family had a nice visit. Most of Karel’s family are women, it’s very matriarchial. So when they had questions about our impending divorce, guess who got to answer the questions. I was good, didn’t go into to many details and just let them know that they were still family to me and I wasn’t holding grudges. Apparently they had been concerned that I would disappear from them. NOT HARDLY. They have been my family for twelve years, you don’t do that. They are proud of me and support the discisions we’ve had to make.
Today is Fathers Day, and I don’t think Karel was really expecting to have a good one. Hopefully we haven’t disappointed him so far. He recieved some Pet Shop Boys imports that his sister got him when she was in London. And we gifted him with some Sting and Phil Collins. He got breakfast in bed and lots of hugs and kisses. I hope that we reminded him that we really love him, despite the choices he’s making, and that he is still the father of our kids and the MAN I’ve spent the last twelve years loving as best as I could. I think sometimes we forget what we mean to other people. Holidays can be a good day to be reminded that one is loved, even if you don’t feel like you deserve it.
It may seem like a contradiction between loving Karel and being excited and nervous about starting off on my own life. But life is never simple. I love Karel, but I also know that Karel needs to go find out who he is. I know who I am, but I need to move forward and not live in limbo land like I have been doing for the last couple of years, while Karel made whatever decisions he needed to make. It’s funny, but we both feel that divorce is the best move for us to make to become better people. It doesn’t mean we love each other any less then we did before, although it does beg the question of how much we loved to begin with, it just means that we have to seperate to continue growing. And for now, the kids are happy for us. We have not left them in limbo land and we have made it very clear that they are our first priority. We are still a family even if we aren’t married.
