For the majority of LDS members that I know, we, for the most part, ignore that Big Love is airing. I know some who love watching the show. I’ve yet to experience any weird reactions from people because of the show. However I was surprised to learn today that an episode of Big Love will be airing parts of one of our temple ceremonies. I have no idea what context they are creating that they felt this was a necessary part of the story, but I’m of two minds about the whole thing. A part of me is disappointed that something so sacred to me is about to be shown on TV. HOWEVER, the other part of me knows that what they are showing is going to be based on whatever the fundamentalist church uses of the ceremony…supposedly. The picture in TV Guide already tells me that something is different. I was amused when the article said that they got a former LDS member to oversee the accuracy of the scene. Now while they would not have been able to find a active member who would have helped the project, it seems a little odd to me to go get someone who left the church because they disagreed with it for some reason and then use their opinion to keep accuracy. um….

However, its not like you can’t find anything you want to know about the temple online. Enough people have left the church and posted their opinions, remembrances and whatever else they have about the temple and what goes on inside. I was unaware however, that the fundamentalist church even still used the endowment and sealing ceremonies. Of course, now that I think about it, it would follow that they are still using them, even if they no longer have the authority to do so. How accurate they still are I couldn’t vouch for.

As for how this would affect OUR church, it wouldn’t do much. This wouldn’t hurt the church in anyway. What does bother me is what context are they putting this information in. I know several people who were unsettled by their first time through the temple. While I was surprised with what I was learning, it also was like sitting in front of a big puzzle with someone taking the odd shaped that I hadn’t been able to place and showing me where they fit in the puzzle. I had a lot of “ah ha” moments my first time through. However, if you aren’t prepared, its going to seem a bit out of kilter. It is different then any other part of our “normal” services. And my worry is really how will what they show fit without sensationalizing it or making it seem weird. I already get enough weird questions as it is, and I really do enjoy discussing what the misconception may be and what the real issue actually is. But in this case, none of us can correct any misconceptions or explain what you might be looking at. I think overall that may be what is the most frustrating. The viewers are going to get a piece of something that is sacred and they are going to want to ask their temple going Mormon friend if there was any truth to what they saw and we can’t explain, verify, or deny anything that the viewer might see. Not because we don’t want to tell you, but because it is sacred and what you learn in the temple, while its very simple, is also very profound. Its a covenant you make with God and its between you and God. I know its not considered hip or normal these days to partake in such things, but its not unusual for those who are members of a detailed and involved theology.

Every year in our gospel doctrine class at church we study a book of scripture. Old Testament, New Testament and The Book of Mormon. This year we will study the Doctrine and Covenants and with that goes church history. The Doctrine and Covenants is a collection of those revelations given during the start up of our church.

Whenever we start with church history we tend to reflect on the changes in the world that led to the possibility of a new church even being formed. It starts with the Renaissance, continues on with the Reformation, continues on with the discovery of America and the eventual creation of our country and our Constitution. For Mormons, these are seen as acts of God in creating a world where a restoration of the gospel can begin. Up till this point, state religions were such that you didn’t disagree unless you wanted to shorten your lifespan. Our Founding Fathers understood the havoc state religions could create and fashioned our constitution so that personal preference set ones religious adherence, not the government.

Then began what would be called The Second Great Awakening. A period of time from 1790–1840 where people were opening up the bible and discussing it amongst themselves. This was a time of great evangelical revivals and every thought idea on religion was contending with each other for recognition and dominance.

It’s in this time of great religious fervor that Joseph Smith, Jr, then only 14 years old begins to ponder the worth of his soul. The preachers of the day were really harping on if ones soul was saved. You didn’t want the heathens to get you, you wanted to be saved before it was too late and you were damned forever. Of course, I think more often then not the “heathens” were the other church they didn’t want you joining.

This was a period of time when men believed that God no longer used prophets and apostles. That you had to reason it out in your own mind because God wasn’t talking to man anymore. The bible was all there was and there wouldn’t be any more. The idea of course being that the Bible contained the full and complete gospel. Joseph’s family were as religious as the people of their day. The bible was the main book in most people’s homes. Many a farm kid learned to read from their families bible. His mother and some of his siblings were going to one church, his father and others were leaning to another. And in the midst of all this, young 14 year old Joseph began to wonder about his own soul. Was he saved, and how did one know? He asked everybody, he read the bible, he went to revivals, he compared his readings with the doctrines of the different theologies. No one could agree on what was meant. Everyone viewed it differently. Not much different than it is now for us today.

How long Joseph spent studying I can only speculate. I would gather considering the serious of the subject he was considering, the state of his own soul, that he spent a great deal of time pondering. I know that my own concentrated study, my own challenging my beliefs and interpretations to know what was real spanned a good two year period in my own life. Unlike myself though, Joseph hadn’t been raised to believe that God still talked to man. People just didn’t carry that idea back in those days. So I can imagine when Joseph read James 1:5 it must have struck him as a new idea that he could actually go ask God for the answer. This is how Joseph describes his reaction to that verse:

While I was laboring under the extreme difficulties caused by the contests of these parties of religionists, I was one day reading the Epistle of James, first chapter and fifth verse, which reads: If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
12 Never did any passage of scripture come with more power to the heart of man than this did at this time to mine. It seemed to enter with great force into every feeling of my heart. I reflected on it again and again, knowing that if any person needed wisdom from God, I did; for how to act I did not know, and unless I could get more wisdom than I then had, I would never know; for the teachers of religion of the different sects understood the same passages of scripture so differently as to destroy all confidence in settling the question by an appeal to the Bible.
At length I came to the conclusion that I must either remain in darkness and confusion, or else I must do as James directs, that is, ask of God. I at length came to the determination to “ask of God,” concluding that if he gave wisdom to them that lacked wisdom, and would give liberally, and not upbraid, I might venture.

An interesting idea for a child who had grown up in a world that no longer believed God talked to man. At 14, no kid expects much of themselves. And no kid, going to ask God a question in prayer expects much of an answer then a simple feeling of yes or no.

I can only imagine the shock and surprise when during his prayer he is then visited by two personages. One pointing to the other and saying “This is My Beloved Son, Hear Him” The other then identifying himself as Jesus Christ. Joseph grew up in a time where the trinity view of God as one being only was set. In one fell swoop, Joseph learned the error of that idea. The ideas on the nature of God understood at that time were snapped and reshaped in that moment. How amazing that must have been. Joseph was also told that none of the sects of the day spoke the truth about God anymore. That they “draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. Teaching the commandments of men and having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof.”

And this becomes the basis for our doctrine. The First Vision begins the journey of Joseph Smith in restoring the lost doctrines of God. Without this first vision there is no reason to redefine the nature of God. There is no reason to suppose the bible is missing information or that the doctrines that survived the dark ages are corrupt. Joseph offered a new understanding of God that was rejected by his neighbors immediately. Only his family believed him. It would be another seven years before the Lord would lead Joseph to retrieve the plates that would make up the Book of Mormon. In those seven years, Joseph had to deal with persecution, revilement, disbelief and condemnation. Not an easy thing to do when your a teenager.

Joseph’s name is spoken with respect and revilement around world depending on your point of view. Joseph’s affect on the world is now studied. There was a neat conference held at the Library of Congress where papers were read on his affect on world religion and his thoughts on religion at the time. And recently all papers pertaining to Joseph have been made available for academic study. Will be interesting to see what comes out of that study by those who are not necessarily of our church.

For myself, I studied this and came to my own conclusions that I also verified in prayer. And I find myself in complete agreement with Joseph when he spoke about his vision “For I had seen a vision; I knew it, and I knew that God knew it, and I could not deny it”

I also know he had this vision and I bear my simple testimony that this is true.

One of the articles I came across was written by this former member of my church who was going off on how the Twilight books are really propaganda from my church to influence the youth about sex and sexism. I’m not linking to it because I’m not going to give her any more publicity but I did want to comment on religious paranoia in regards to organized religion and my organized religion in particular. If I sound like I’m rambling through this post, I apologize now.

Thanks to the history of religion during the middle ages many people have an understandable distrust of organized religion. There wasn’t anything that the state churches of the time didn’t do to control the masses. Our own Founding Fathers wrote our constitution in such a way as to prevent state religions and all the harm that was then known that they did. There are still those who want to control others and religion is often the easiest vehicle to do that in. Religion does not stop the monsters. I have relatives in one church who have told me that its not important to read the scriptures. That their pastor teaches them all they need to know. I come from a faith that stresses knowledge and to not just take someones word for it, so my mouth just falls open when I hear stuff like that. We no longer live in a time where reading is considered unnecessary. With education comes experiences and perceptions on how things are and what they are. What we read helps shape how we view our experiences and those experiences will support or reject what we have read as valid or complete poppycock. There is an amazing amount of information available out there. Even in my own faith, everything from what happens in our temples to how we interpret the bible is available to discover. You do have to be careful of where your information comes from, if you go someplace jaded, keep that salt nearby.

Another important influence on religion is families. Its amazing how important this factor is in peoples perceptions on religion. Most distrust of religion is going to come from warped or mean spirited mind-sets from family members. There are many women who distrust a patriarchal view of religion thanks to abuse by men, usually in the form of their own fathers. I know that I’ve learned more about God from my parents and from being a parent then any other experience in my life. I was abused by a member of my church who used polygamy to justify “training future wives”. I count myself extremely lucky that the lesson I learned from that was that you cannot let how others warp religion to determine how you view it. My parents helped me in learning that lesson from that experience and it has served me well. The point though is that how your own family members dealt with religion is going to have a profound impact on your reactions to religion. You see this most often in children of extremely conservative or controlling religious parents. Their children often become very hedonistic for awhile, whether to shock or to hurt, they are responding to the hurt and shock caused to them by their parents. Hard to view God as a loving parent when your own parent acts as if they hate you. My own church refers to abuse of authority as unrighteous dominion. Doesn’t matter if it happens in church, the home, on the playing field of a game, its wrong. And most of us are guilty of it at some point in our lives. Most of us to small degrees, (who hasn’t said, “because I said so” to their kids?) but it can be staggering in large ones… state religions anyone? Now I’m not pointing fingers and trying to say how you should raise your kids. Heaven knows I’m not a perfect parent by any degree, but I did want to show that families have a huge impact on how we are going to view the roll of God in our lives.

Now some of the issues presented in the woman’s blog was her concern that books pushed that sex was either bad or to be feared and that women should let men make all the decisions. And her fear was that this book was actually written from our church to push our patriarchal views that women are inferior to men. Reading anything is always interesting. Your always going to project your own issues to whatever the text is expressing. And the Twilight saga has definitely brought up a lot of issues for people. Feminists just get enraged by these books, and now I found an article that was a conspiracy theory regarding my church. Yes, I’m laughing at this woman because I know how silly it is, but I also know that for some people this is a fear they have. Maybe not to the severity that this woman was going off, but that background fear of organized religion does creep in the background.

I imagine that were Stephenie Meyer to read that article her first reaction would have been, “what?”. Our church has no paid clergy. You don’t get paid for being a Bishop, or Stake President. The “guy” roles of our church have no paid salary. The roles women fill, Relief Society President, Primary President to name a couple are also volunteer only. Its all volunteer and your asked to fill and you say yes or no. Your choice. What this allows is for people to have a chance to grow by having new experiences. Some do well, some do not. Everyone learns. Our church has set programs and those programs are designed to help you grow as you want to. How much you learn, grow, experience is completely dependent on how much effort you put into it. For those willing to do more, there are the added responsibilities provided by temple service. If you have power and control issues, they don’t do well in our church structure. They happen because people are imperfect, but they are not the norms and they tend to not last long. I’ve moved over 20 times in my life, and I’ve lived in a lot of wards in a lot of states and its pretty consistent.

As for the patriarchal view we have, it is not the “man makes all the decisions” type of thing. I Know that is what most women think of when they hear that term, but if you ever meet a man who thinks that way….drop his butt. That is a boy who needs to grow up some more. The basic idea is that Fathers have a responsibility to their family to guide them. What this means is that men need to make wise decisions in who they marry so they have a good partner in raising that family. So in our church there is an emphasis that men and hence the boys have a responsibility to their own conduct in how they relate to the females in their lives. The phrase, “well she made me” doesn’t fly. This is a concept that I feel does show its face in the character of Edward. He does take the responsibility upon himself and doesn’t expect Bella to control the romantic side of their relationship. Just because she wants to jump his bones doesn’t mean he’s going to just let it happen because “she wants it”. His reasoning, of course, is based on his fear of eating her if he lets himself lose control, but then, having been raised in the early 1900’s he would have a more respectful attitude about sex and marriage anyway.

Bella is also not a weak character in these books. She knows what she wants. In this article the author complained that Bella didn’t make her own decisions and relied on the men to make them for her. Lets keep some things in perspective. We have a rather level headed girl who is in love with a vampire and has a werewolf for a best friend. The werewolf is 16 years old and the vampire is 108. This girl understands that in regards to capabilities and certain unreal situations she finds herself in, the werewolf and the vampire are going to understand how best to fight or deal with something she is not physically capable of doing herself. This doesn’t make her weak. As Bella says in Eclipse, “I’m not worried about anything that would be deterred by a locked door.” Now we do get the domineering bit from the guys, but that’s understandable and even expected when your trying to protect something you care about so much. Now does this stop Bella from making sure that what is important to her stays safe and protected as well? Of course not. She is often rather proactive in her own choices.

On the religious front, many people try to use Eve being the “problem” in the Genesis story to justify whatever control issues they have. Eve gets blamed for a lot in some theological writing. What is missed is what an amazing women she was. It helps to have additional scripture on this subject. Eve was only deceived in that she believed the lie that they wouldn’t die if they ate the fruit of the garden. But what she understood was that to become like her Heavenly Parents she would have to learn knowledge by her choices. And only through eating from the Tree of Knowledge would she have that opportunity. Until then, the garden was a never changing world. Nothing to learn from because there was no risk, no challenge, nothing to have experiences with. To realize that your life is stuck and that it requires change to grow is not always an easy thing to choose. Many people now a days will not make choices that rock the boat. Mormons are unique in the idea that we are the literal children of God and so we are on a path to become like our Heavenly Parents. In Genesis, when God looks down and says, “Now they are like God knowing good and evil” its taken as if this is a bad thing in many christian circles. When in reality this is the very best thing. This was the plan from the beginning.

Gaining knowledge through experiences is how we grow and learn and become better as we travel through this life. At no point should you ever give up the right to know for yourself to someone else. There are only a handful of theologies in the world that do not suffer from their adherents gaining an education. These are theologies that treasure knowledge and support the gaining of such. Your less likely to have adherents involved based on fear and control. When your actions are the result of your knowledge and what has become your values, then its never about control. This is the idea often missed in regards to my theology. Because we emphasize knowledge and service is such a big part of things, your involved because you want to be. Some people may be involved because they feel they have to be, but its not long before they find their reasons to stop.

In response to this poor woman who is so paranoid that her former church wants to control her, I hope she learns to relax. Get away from whatever family/friends are around her that have created that fear in her and find comfort in her own skin.

I loved President Hinckley. He was kind, generous, full of humor and had a wonderful way of expressing the Love of Christ without sounding condescending or timid. He had a knowledge of the Love and Life of our Jesus Christ and knew that He lived. He worked hard to help others and he was much respected by those who came in contact with him.

Now that Pres. Hinckley has died, we also turn our eyes to see who’ll become our next church President. THIS article gives a pretty good explanation of the process. In this case, the oldest member and currently President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles is Thomas S. Monson. A very kind and gentle man. If he is our next President and Prophet, which seems likely, I know the church is in very good hands.

Of course, to any atheist, Logic and Faith have no common ground. How very wrong they are.

But I digress, today I was sent a neat article on The Christian Century about what a Mormon President could mean and what role would he have in regards to his own autonomy or would he just be a puppet to a bunch of mind controlling cultists. I found it a good read and while I have no idea the religious beliefs of the author, her understanding of LDS theology and what it means in regards to our actions and our view of government and the issues being discussed by conservative christians isn’t too bad. She’s got a good bead on things. Just from understanding your LDS friends a little better, its a good read.

A Mormon President? The LDS difference

One I’m not real sure what to do with. I no longer want a blog that is just a fountain for a flowing series of complaints. I’m just not that negative. Besides, its just bad taste.

This was a very interesting release for the pain endured the last three years, but I’ve grown up and frankly, I’m rather ashamed of some of the things I put on here. I read back through some of my posts and wonder at how insane that first year after the divorce was. Good grief. And I didn’t even tell you guys everything.

This forum allowed me to voice what I was screaming inside my head, but it still inflicted damage in its own way. Anyone who tries to tell you that what you do doesn’t hurt or affect anyone is selling something.

I’ve been pondering for months what to put here. Unsure and a little wary to let more sacred thoughts out there.

This year though, is a year for discovery about myself. Spiritually I’m taking a harder look at myself. Not in discovering what I believe, but becoming more dedicated to what I believe. My theology has a very specific view of the world, and I’m not opening myself up to the full realities of that blessing. Through the Gift of the Holy Ghost (Holy Spirit for you NT types) we have the blessing of personal revelation. Direct communication with our Heavenly Father and I have been shutting myself off from that. Silly really, but sometimes, I’m a silly person. Not because I think God doesn’t want to talk to me or doesn’t care, but because I haven’t been brave enough to face those things about myself that I’ve been too lazy to change. And one thing that is constant about regular contact with God. You change. That relationship can’t help but change you.

I’m currantly reading Sherri Dew’s book ‘No Doubt About It’. What a great book. Sherri Dew is currantly the CEO of Deseret Books. A Publishing Company that primarly prints LDS authors and musicians. She was once a councelor in the General Relief Society Presidency. I believe its the biggest and oldest women’s organization in the world. Just to give my non lds readers a point of reference. The Relief Society is the female arm of our church, where the Priesthood is the male arm of the church. Our church simply could not function without them. the RS includes every female member of the church over 18. Each ward has a RS presidency which oversees the running of this program in their congregation, The General RS Presidency oversees the entire program that each ward then impliments at the ward level. So, Sherri has traveled all over talking and speaking to women around the world. SHe’s a fantastic speaker and it shows in her writing.

The book is about realizing that we are special daughters of God who have the right to contact and direction from our Heavenly Father in all things. To gain that peace and confidence that we are not alone as we face all the slings and arrows of mortality. If we but open that door to blessings we are entitled to.

Its been a great read.

Living Will

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Witness

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An LDS child needed to bring an old shirt from home for a school project about drug prevention. The mother was busy and handed her child an old T-shirt without examining it. Later, she was appalled to see her child wearing the T-shirt through the mall. On the front it said, “A Family is Forever.” On the back: “Be Smart, Don’t Start.”

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One busy Saturday as I was leaving for work and my husband was leaving for the temple, our 11-year-old asked who was going to fix breakfast. We told him that his 15-year-old brother would. He replied, “Would this be a good time to use my 72-hour kit?”

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Missionary Advice: “When a big mean, dog attacks you, Elder, just remember, you don’t have to run faster than the dog, … you just have to outrun your companion.”

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When the MTC was built in Provo, beautiful green athletic fields were planted so the missionaries would have a place to exercise. However, they were so inviting that BYU students were attracted there, and you would see BYU students out playing touch football, throwing Frisbees, etc., on the missionaries’ field. To deal with this problem, a large banner was posted, which read “Missionaries Only.”

The next day, BYU students were out on the field, playing touch football and throwing Frisbees. They had posted a new banner which read, “Every member a missionary.”

Life has been very busy for me the last two weeks or so. I’ve been focusing on getting my apartment “baby ready”. Which means going through the too many boxes and bags I brought with us with junk and stuff that I didn’t have time to go through before the move. I’m also babysitting everyday for my friend and that means I’m busy watching a nearly 5 year old and her 19mo. baby brother. It’s insane, but it helps pay the bills. Little Derrick loves to help me empty the bags filled with who knows what.

I really need to get this all done before I lose too much mobility. My main nerves that run down the butt into the back of my legs get strained easily now-a-days. I remember this from when I was pregnant before, but now I’m 12 years older and the body just doesn’t bounce back as quickly as it did the last time.

I’m also working on getting my spiritual life back in working order. Went to a womens conference on the 5th that was just fantastic. The speaker said a few things that really clicked together a whole bunch of pieces of information that have been coming to me. Through scripture study and prayer, I’ve been given alot of very specific advice. Unfortunately, I have not been understanding how what I was being told or impressed with would help with my specific issues. It was great advice for my kids, but I couldn’t see the bigger picture. To say the least, that conference helped me to finally understand the advice coming my way. It’s ironic really, how we can miss how simple advice really isn’t simple at all. Another example for me of why the Lord teaches line upon line and precept upon precept.

Now, to my weekend, which was both wonderful and sad. Wonderful, in that Blondguy came down and spent the weekend with us. We went to an adult dance put on by my church. There was a 16-piece band that played all the old standards that you can cha cha or swing or sway lightly to. I haven’t been dancing since before I got married. I told blondguy that he was earning lots of brownie points. And I was even able to follow him in many of the moves he put us through. Not bad for a girl who’s been watching everyone else dance for four years. (chuckles) Afterwards, he put his considerable nursing skills to use giving me the most excellent pregnancy massage I’ve ever had. OH BOY, do I wish he lived down here so I could get more of those. Fortunately, he finishes school this summer.

The sad part of the weekend though was finding out sunday night that his niece had passed away. She had been very sick. I don’t remember exactly what she had, it was some type of cancer I believe. But she had been in remission and then relapsed a few months ago. They were really glad she made it through christmas. In fact, in the pictures I saw, she didn’t look sick at all. But she started failing the last couple weeks and went quickly this weekend. My heart goes out to BG’s brother and his family during this terrible week. I’m thankful for the knowledge that families can be eternal. They may have lost their daughter for now, but they will get her back when they meet again.

I’m going to take my kids out to a valentines dinner, I think. Remind them of just how much they are loved and appreciated.

Take for example the discussion I got into this afternoon. This guy comes to me and expresses his “concern” and asks if he can discuss what he sees as contradictions between mormon theology and the bible. I silently chuckle at this. I gained my testimony by intense study of the gospel interpretations of various churches compared to the writings contained within the bible. And I was given all the anti mormon material they could get their hands on.

It got old pretty fast, but it did force me to really study and learn. So it was all good. Anyway, I came to the conclusion, thanks to all this, that the mormon understanding of the bible was the most comprehensive. One of the many reasons I stayed mormon.

What I found amusing, was the assumption of this particular person that as a mormon, I wasn’t reading the bible, or familiar with it. Unfortunately, many mormons aren’t as familiar with the bible as we could be. Which is probably why this person had this particular additude. Suffice it to say, we soon got into discussing things.

I found it telling that they kept referring to some “article” that apparently discussed seeming “contradictions”, obviously to make a Mormon doubt their theology. They brought up all the typical scriptures that to people in mainstream christianity seem like it should just rock our little theology apart. This person got miffed that I could walk around what seemed like iron clad hits against my faith, with a viable alternate interpretation for the scriptures given. Even if they didn’t agree with the conclusion, they at least realized that as my understanding went, what looked like a contradiction, wasn’t.

And it always comes down to the same thing. Our theology is really about personal responsiblity. To us, the term “God” is a description of a level of responsibility. A description of our relationship with our Heavenly Parents and Jesus Christ. Glory, is again, another term for responsibility. Knowledge of things comes with responsiblity to that knoweldge. And everything we are asked to do, is preparing us for the responsibilities that we will take on in the eternities.

It sometimes makes me sad when people have a problem with that approach to God. They seem to like the master/slave idea or thinking of ourselves as some lowly science experiment. Then they jump all over me for ideas that they haven’t bothered to study or think through. I really don’t have a problem with people disagreeing with our faith. We each have to follow the dictates of our own conscience. But at least disagree with the correct idea. Not some made up thing, some jerk wrote to cause trouble because they don’t like the church.