I’m stoked.

On movie news the Cast of Twilight have started their press junket to promote the movie. While so many people were voting on November 4th, poor Robert Pattinson was being pimped to multiple promotional events in New York. And much to my amusement he was in quiet but open rebellion of the intense interest and adoration that has come his way. For weeks the various fan sites have been oogling his hair. They even were calling it his “sex hair”. He’s not even allowed to cut it because his publicists consider it his trademark. So what does he do? Tuesday morning, he shows up at his first event looking like he’d just rolled out of bed and put on his ever present beanie. No big deal considering he was doing an early morning radio appearance, but he wore that beanie to every event. He claimed that his hair wasn’t washed and I have no idea if that was true, but when asked to remove the beanie he flat out refused, modestly saying his hair was not appropriate. Now he did change his shirt during the day, starting out in a tee and sweater and changing to a dress shirt that he sometimes wore with a tie and sometimes didn’t. Interesting shot of him wearing a nice shirt and tie with a beanie. I just cracked up with laughter. I knew exactly what he was doing because its what my son is doing.

My son doesn’t want to date girls right now. Or so he insists. And he doesn’t want to get hair cuts and he won’t shave so that he looks scruffy and unnoticeable. He realized he had good looks a few years ago and has been hiding them ever since. And I know that Rob’s recent trend of looking like he never baths and just grabbed whatever clothes were just on the floor near the bed is his way of protesting the insane fangirl adoration he has been receiving. He used to show up to all his promotional events looking modest and decent. He hasn’t this week.

I find it funny and adorable as it reminds me of my son. I don’t blame Rob one bit. He got mobbed in an airport in Mexico, nearly losing his luggage. Everywhere he goes the younger fan girls go nuts and in some cases he needs body guards to even move around. I like to think those of us who are older fan girls know how to give someone their space, but I could be wrong. Some 40 year old just might try hiding out in Rob’s hotel room naked for all I know.

I could be wrong, but it looks like Rob is daring the fan girls to see him at his grungiest and daring them to still like him, hoping that he’ll lose a few. It might work if he was a jerk, but he’s too well bred for that. This is one boy that was raised right and we all know it.

Thanks to Pattinson Online for most of the photos.

Its a bit much though. I don’t like to think of myself as an obsessive person, but I knew I was in trouble when I thought the other day on my way to go to sleep, something along the lines of, “Time to get Edward and go to bed.” Now this would seem like a really bizarre thing to think of, except that I have been reading myself to sleep since I was 8 or 9. But never before have I referred to a book by the name of a character. (Harry Potter not withstanding as the name IS the title)

Since E has let both of our copies of Twilight be borrowed, I cannot start on another reading of this wonderful journey. So, I was forced to find other entertainments to occupy my mind with in the wee hours of the night as I take advantage of some floating holiday time I have left. (Yay to paid vacation time) The only down side is that its 2am and I’m not tired. I wonder why.

There are copious websites dedicated to the Twilight universe. And I spent some time letting my voyeuristic side loose to read whatever gossip is going on about the movie. I also watched some You Tube videos, most of which were twilight themed and if anyone knows what music makes up the first 30 seconds of THIS clip, I’d really appreciate it.

So, as I was jumping around various sites I came across an image of a paper clipping about a college kid who wanted to know what all the hoopla around Twilight was about, and since he’s a new writer himself, he decided to see what the deal was. And oh btw he’s going to blog about it. His name is Kaleb Nation and the website ‘Twilight Guy’ is hilarious. Between his comments on each chapter he inserts very funny images to illustrate his funny sense of humor. I’ve spent the last two hours reading his comments on each chapter of Twilight and laughing my butt off. Every so often he includes snarky additions that could be made to certain parts of the dialogue. Being a writer himself, he enjoys the flow of language and word choice and he can’t help poking fun or commenting on what ELSE could have been said.

He’s very insightful for only being 20 years old. He also gives the perspective of what would stand out to a guy in the story, accented by his snarky sense of humor.

Last night though, I think took the cake. So, the original reason for the call was so this customer could activate her debit card. She couldn’t remember her pin so I had to verify extra security questions. They are very specific and can’t be substituted. One of those pieces of information is the checking acct number. Now, this lady had forgotton that her debit card number is not her checking acct number, and since she only uses her card on this acct, I could understand the reason. She kept insisting that she didn’t have a checking acct number because she never wrote checks. So that was miscommunication number one. Then she wanted me to look up the last check she wrote on the acct. This really confused me and I tried to remind her that her acct number didn’t require that she write checks that she said she didn’t have. She finally explained about how she keeps records and that if I would look up the right information she could then look up her acct number from her records. By this point, she was very upset with me and I was just confused by what she was saying. But I asked her if I could put her on hold to look up the information she wanted that according to her shouldnt’ exist anyway, and after she said I could I heard her say the catholic prayer to ward off evil. This stopped me in my tracks. I had just been prayed against. I started to laugh and while I had this lady on hold I mentioned to my supervisor that this lady just prayed against me to ward off evil. Sadly the program that lets me look at check images was down and so I had to go back to this lady and regrettfully tell her I couldn’t look up the information she wanted. She then went on about how unhelpful I was, how I was obviously a miserable person and she couldn’t believe how I ever ended up in customer service. She suggested that I quit right then and there and go pray to God for help because I was so miserable and that I could stop being mean to people. She kept ranting and I generally stayed quiet so hopefully she would rant and hang up. But at one point I did have to remind her she could activate her card by just stepping into the branch and she asks, “How do you know I can even walk?”. By this point I was just done and signaled my manager to listen into the call while she continued on about how I was a terrible person. He eventually stepped in after a couple of minutes and told this lady that she was being abusive and to end the call.

I expect at some point this lady will be complaining to her branch about me. And I just have to laugh. I’ve been called all sorts of things by people unhappy about their accts. I’ve been told I’m a thief, that I”m stealing food from the mouths of children, and I’ve had people yell at the top of their lungs that I’m wrong and they will no longer talk to me. And before this call my favorite call was the little old lady who accused me of being a secret operative of Al Quida because I wouldn’t refund her overdraft fees. But being prayed against because this lady viewed me as evil just takes the cake. *chuckles*

What did Lot do?

However, that being said, I think I’ve found a new website that will be just the ticket to those of us sick and tired of the love games and just need a good laugh about our sad and hopeless love lives….hehe

Google Romance

Whoever did this was very clever and really tripped up a few of my friends for April fools….so funny.

Erica is having a good time at outdoor school this week. I know this because I’m not getting any phone calls about homesickness.

And here’s something to make you laugh. This was given to me by a friend of mine in Canada.

Heat to Cold

60 degrees Fahrenheit – Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobes).

50 degrees – Miami residents turn on the heat.

40 degrees – You can see your breath. Californians shiver uncontrollably. Minnesotans go swimming.

35 degrees – Italian cars won’t start.

32 degrees – Water freezes.

30 degrees – You plan your vacation to Australia. Minnesotans put on T-shirts. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless. British cars don’t start.

25 degrees – Boston water freezes. Californians weep uncontrollably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.

20 degrees – You can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan a vacation further south.

15 degrees – French cars don’t start. You plan a vacation in Mexico. The cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.

10 degrees – Too cold to ski. You need jumper cables to get the car going.

5 degrees – You plan your vacation in Houston. American cars don’t start.

0 degrees – Alaskans put on T shirts. It’s too cold to skate.

-10 degrees – German cars don’t start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.

-15 degrees – You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongues on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.

-20 degrees – Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don’t start.

-25 degrees – Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.

-30 degrees – You plan a two-week hot bath. Swedish cars don’t start.

-40 – Californians disappear. Minnesotans button up their top buttons. Canadians put on sweaters. Your car helps you plan your trip south.

Shining

FIRST TESTIMONY:

I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, “How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?”

Realizing what I just said, I turned around and walked out and never went back. My husband didn’t say a word…he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:

I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women’s type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who work at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, “I think I like playing with men’s balls.”

THIRD TESTIMONY:

My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, “No, I’m just looking at your nuts.” My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.

To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and so she ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving “right now” she would be punished.

To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, “If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!”

The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:

Have you ever asked your child a particular question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so, of course, I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then, I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said “No”.
I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said,
“Danny, are you SURE you didn’t have an accident?”

“No,” he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, “Danny, did you have an accident?”

This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled, “SEE MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!” While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they’d ever had!

LAST TESTIMONY:

This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow — but don’t get any….a true story? We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked: “So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?”

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

“Hello.”

“Is your daddy home? ” he asked.

“Yes,” whispered the small voice.

“May I talk with him?”

The child whispered, “No.”

Surprised, and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”

“Yes.”

“May I talk with her?”

Again the small voice whispered, “No.”

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?”

“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked, “May I speak with the policeman?”

“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?”

“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman,” came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

“A hello-copper” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” asked the boss, now truly alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child answered, “The search team just landed the hello-copper.”

Alarmed, concerned, and even more then just a little frustrated the boss asked, “What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied along with a muffled giggle:

“ME.”

Tripod’s “Make You Happy Tonight”